KO!
i'm quite comfy with writing/ranting/blogging on my own blog, but now, i just don't know what i should blog about! >.<(can i not bother abt good english, consistency in language and caps since it's a blog?)
anyways, adhering to the title of my entry, i'm literally and officially KNOCKED OUT from EMERGE! wait, before you think the negative way, i jus wanna explain that i'm just physically tired, having slept through an average 3-4 hours a day throughout the camp.
went to work yesterday despite being so bummed, and since it was my last day at work before I move to another arena of the marketplace, i had nothing to do. so i just slept at my desk from 9.30am to 2pm!! hehe!! yar, i'm a piggie, so. sue. me. hahahahahaa!!
had nothing to do today, so after meeting my future employer to sign the letter of appointment, i headed home and slept from 2pm to 6pm! yeah! i need rest! loads of it! *^^*
quite excited for my new job at warner music! but yup, as usual, in His own perfect timing, the LORD spoke to me during camp about the impending road that may be rocky and fraught with traps, and reminded me of times when i shall be moulded and make discerned choices. but of course, He also assured me that He will be there to guide me, so i'll hold on to that promise!
everything's a blur to me still, cos i do not know what to expect too, but i trust that the LORD would not put me beyond what i can bear. moreover, the LORD did put me through lots of similar tests, so i trust that the LORD will guide me through this period as well.
one thing that hit me during EMERGE was the illustration drawn from the ending of 'Cars'. indeed, i thank God for that revelation that says that 'winning' doesn't really matter. what matters most is that thru the whole course of the race, you learnt something along the way, and helped others along the way.
perhaps due to the course of study during my poly days, which wasn't as pleasant as one would expect, it was impt to be sure of what you are doing, and when in doubt, never ask others, as other ppl in the cohort mite luff at you and think of you as an incompetent loser. that didn't go well with me, who's quite a warped perfectionist (i hope u understand what i mean) to begin with. so i prided my own work a lot and neglected others along the way. but God spoke to me that if i keep wanting to win, then i would've missed the whole point of running this race that the LORD has set for me. His race is different from the the world's race. His race is a race of compassion and a race for excellence in the kingdom, and not a race to "win it all".
i have yet to experience the full magnitude of what this word for this season encompasses, but i kinda woke up thru that revelation. God may not speak thru every service during the camp for me, but when He does, i'm glad and thankful for that word, which came thru like a gentle whisper in the ear. =)
-pauline
posted by Anonymous @ 12:37 AM
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